Updated: Jan 1, 2020
This past week..was not fun. at all.
Multiple times I picked up Hallie's thrown sippy cup off the floor after she purposely threw it down just so the milk would spill a little so she could proceed to make it worse by smearing it around all over the floor.
We ran out of her usual lunchtime meal (fish sticks), so I made her mac n cheese with veggies mixed in. What did she do? Virtually nothing; she didn't eat more than a couple bites before throwing a fit because it wasn't her favorite meal & then followed that up with throwing her sippy on the floor..again. I let the dogs in to clean up any bits off the floor like normal (lol), Bruce, our giant lab, ran right over my toe..OUCH!
The next day, I was tying to get the kitchen cleaned up before putting her down before her morning nap, just to turn around & see the entire bottom drawer below the microwave turned into a very empty drawer...bits of bottle parts & baby dishes everywhere. (Don't get me wrong, that drawer is a life saver when I'm cooking & need her to be distracted.) As I'm picking those up, Hallie has found the dirty clothes hamper. Yep, clothes everywhere. Then continues hitting our smaller sleeping dog in the face after telling her "no-no" several times already that morning. Now she's crying because she's being moved away from the dog, she's also hitting me.
To top it off, Hallie's eye teeth having been cutting through slowly these past couple weeks & of course the worst part had to be this past week when I was already on edge over several other tantrums & mishaps. I played with her to distract her, read her books, Facetimed with her grandparents, but nothing would help that evening; (TMI, but it was my time of the month so add in my headache & hormonal hot flashes into the mix), we try to avoid giving her Tylenol because meds can be so hard on their little livers.
Got her to bed, she was quiet for 15 minutes or so... **screaming from the nursery.....Welp, now she's awake & mad about something - probably her teeth. Nope, she's pooped. After fighting her to get her to lay still to change her (keep in mind, you have to distract her with things in her hands to change her, but this time was throwing everything I let her hold), gave her a drink of water, then laid her back down. A few minutes had passed, I was already in my office starting up my computer to get some editing done..yep more screaming.
**Sigh. I go in, check her diaper just to make sure. She was clean, had her binky, half dose of Tylenol, so I decided rock her, (something we haven't had to do since this time last year, something she'd well outgrown by now). I don't know why I decided to do it, but I was kind of desperate.
Let me tell you, that 10 minutes of rocking my little, snuggled up close was the best 10 minutes of the entire week. You see, Zack's job requires him to be away for days at a time so that week, he was gone. After a week of being so irritated & annoyed because I didn't feel good either, much editing to do, housework, etc., I was just done. drained. exhausted! She laid her head on my shoulder, wrapped her tiny arms around me, & we rocked slowly while her sound machine was playing gentle waves & her red dinosaur nightlight was glowing.
For her, it was relaxing enough that she almost fell asleep on me. I sat there peacefully holding her while tears of joy, anger, & gratitude are rolling down my face. So stinkin' exhausted from so many things I can't even remember now. Thanking God for those few moments I had with her. Begging God to always keep her safe & to give me the strength to get through this with Grace & patience. She deserves so much more than me getting irritated with her no matter how bad I feel. But sometimes, it's so hard to dig that out of me. I sat there, remembering how it felt to rock her every night & how much I missed it. That moment with her, completely recharged my battery & nourished my Soul.
As a mom who's running a wonderful business, helping other mamas & families sessions go smoothly..understanding their struggles, you'd think I wouldn't forget to practice what I preach which is time with God, but I do. I neglect that precious time & need to remind myself that Hallie is not even 2 yet; she's 18 months. She's a little tater tot now. She's learning how to be human & she doesn't understand so much of this world. Hallie is His gift to us & a freaking miracle for goodness sake.
I love being her mother more than words could ever describe. Running this business & relating to others helps me more than you know. Last week was hard you guys! Listen, I know being a mom is no easy job. I know we chose this military life. I know they're so many moms out there that work outside the home just like I do & have their own struggles with balancing their priorities. Being a parent, is no easy task. (to all you SAHMs, mad props to you!) I was so selfish to not even consider how much her daddy must be missing her while he was gone. I know he'd of traded his driving around for hours on end at work, to soothe her cries.
All of you families inspire me so much! If you find yourself hiding away in the bathroom for longer than you actually need, or have a glass of wine at the end of the day lol, hey, no mom-shaming here! Do whatever you have to do to get through your hectic week so you can savor those small moments.
Please pray for our little family come Veteran's Day; my husband treks out again for his next tour that week & the madness will begin again lol. Sending you all the wine, coffee, & love to all you mamas out there!